Mind what you Plant

A warning note comes from Argyll and Bute, who send out chatty and practical e-mails. They point out that presents from well-intentioned gardening pals may land you with a frightful pirate like Japanese knotweed or rhododendron Ponticum – though it’s hard to imagine we’re that daft. It regards Himalayan balsam as a menace, too, along with Gold Deadnettle, and even warns against Skunk Cabbage, that rather exotic damp-loving plant with its startling poker-shaped stamens in an equally bright yellow hood.

Australians are always astonished that Britain makes no attempt to keep out imported plants and soil. Complaints about the arrival of such pests as the New Zealand flatworm are greeted with no sympathy at all – but on the other hand, you can be banned from Melbourne if they find you with an apple in your flight bag. Maybe the Brits have an inbuilt taste for risk – though Health and Safety are clearly unaware of this. The latest idiocy from them was to forbid Marvin Elliott to do chainsaw sculpture in George Square during the Arran weekend. No good pointing out that islanders are perfectly used to this and still retain their hands, feet and fingers